Sunday, December 23, 2007
It's odd, wondering what to think. Wondering "if" to think? The world is complicated. What do you do when you want to love someone and know you "should" love that person, and in some ways you do, but not in the right way. Not in the way you need to, to be able to sustain a really really long term relationship.
Monday, July 30, 2007
How the hell did I get so lost?
At what point did my life end? When does childhood fade into adulthood and then suddenly slip into redundancy?
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Distractions
It's late, and we're in my car. I'm driving. Offered you a lift home. It was a long shift as always and we're all tired, as always. Lots of common ground after that many hours dealing with crap.
The stars are out, there's traffic everywhere. The sounds of the night, the smell of the darkness. I know that we're chatting about something but I'm not sure what it is. I am, as I mentioned distracted. Distracted by you. I see in my peripheral vision the outline of your profile. The shape of your face, strength of your jawline all highlighted by the moon and street lights. Your hair, no longer restrained, pulled back, professional is now loose and relaxed. I resist the overwhelming urge to reach over and run my fingers through it. Many many weeks ago, I ran my fingers through that soft auburn hair, feeling the dampness at the nape of your neck. I ran my hands down your back and over your shoulders. You reciprocated and placed your strong hands through my hair, awakening every nerve in my neck, spine, and body. I'm not even sure but I believe it was at this point that I first felt your lips on mine. They were soft and hungry. I didn't know you were a biter, but I liked it. Like small electrical jolts coursing through my entire being. That night ended as quickly as it began. Now when we're around each other I feel the magnetic pull. I feel an electricity. I feel you. I want to feel you. You have awoken something in me that needs to be fulfilled. I do not want to go out and find release for the sake of release. So, I carry with me the tension, the nervous energy and the emptiness that I know can never be filled.
The stars are out, there's traffic everywhere. The sounds of the night, the smell of the darkness. I know that we're chatting about something but I'm not sure what it is. I am, as I mentioned distracted. Distracted by you. I see in my peripheral vision the outline of your profile. The shape of your face, strength of your jawline all highlighted by the moon and street lights. Your hair, no longer restrained, pulled back, professional is now loose and relaxed. I resist the overwhelming urge to reach over and run my fingers through it. Many many weeks ago, I ran my fingers through that soft auburn hair, feeling the dampness at the nape of your neck. I ran my hands down your back and over your shoulders. You reciprocated and placed your strong hands through my hair, awakening every nerve in my neck, spine, and body. I'm not even sure but I believe it was at this point that I first felt your lips on mine. They were soft and hungry. I didn't know you were a biter, but I liked it. Like small electrical jolts coursing through my entire being. That night ended as quickly as it began. Now when we're around each other I feel the magnetic pull. I feel an electricity. I feel you. I want to feel you. You have awoken something in me that needs to be fulfilled. I do not want to go out and find release for the sake of release. So, I carry with me the tension, the nervous energy and the emptiness that I know can never be filled.
Sample, test, etc
So, this is my new place to vent to blab to bare my soul so to speak. Let's see how it works out.
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